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Peter Molyneux almost ruined my marriage. I was 6 months pregnant with my son and was supposed to be on relative bed rest when my husband introduced me to Fable to help stave off my boredom. Needless to say, I became consumed. Had I given birth to my son while playing Fable, I probably would not have noticed.

I have been a fan of Peter Molyneux’s games ever since I played Dungeon Keeper. Transitioning from playing the beloved, but ever-noble Warcraft II to the ever-more-sinister Dungeon Keeper was a delight. I loved slapping around my Imps and spawning Dark Mistresses. What more could a girl want?

When Fable II finally came out, I fell in love again. Though I felt it was the game Fable should have been, I was not disappointed. Relatively soon after my love affair with Fable II ended, I heard the news of Fable III making an appearance. The King/Queen on the throne! More children! More hero poses! More gambling! More debauchery! I was elated.

Until I began playing it.

First of all, let me begin by saying that while I did enjoy Fable III very much, I still felt myself wishing I were playing Fable II. It seemed to be more cohesive and immersive than the latest installment. And where was my freaking gambling?! I loved playing Fortune’s Tower.

In any case, you begin the game as the Prince/Princess of the Hero from Fable II. Your brother is on the throne and he has been a terrible tyrant. Of course, you join a Revolution to bring him down with the help of some of your friends; namely, your dog. Albion is on the cusp of an Industrial Revolution, as well. Which makes for an interesting back-drop of stories and assorted morals you can advance, should you choose to do.

Which is really what the game boils down to: choices. There are no real innovations to the game. I guess it feels like jumping back in the sack with an ex-lover: you kind of know what you’re doing, and it feels sort of right, but that guilt starts to sink in, and you start to wonder – is what I’m doing right? Is this okay? But of course it is. It’s just a game, you dolt. But then you worry you’ve been spending far too much time with this game versus the other one, and suddenly you find yourself hitting things and then next thing you know you’re sobbing, “Baby, you know I didn’t mean it”.

…..no? That doesn’t sound like you? Ahem. Well then. Onward and upward.

The only other legitimate complaint I had and that almost kept me from completing the game was the goddamn bugs. Was it too much to ask Lionhead to make a game playable enough to at least finish a game without having to start completely over? Apparently so.

It all began when I started the “Gone, But Not Forgotten” quest. I’m on a mission to kill some Hollow Men, and then I get stuck in a room. I can’t advance, and I can’t go back. I waited  about a week before a patch was released. No dice. I started over, but then I ran into many more problems along the way. Fortunately, they were not game stopping problems, but at one point I couldn’t work any more jobs, and then at another point I couldn’t hear Jasper anymore. And who doesn’t want to listen to John Cleese’s witty quips?

All in all, I was glad to have played, and finished, the game. But I felt it was at a cost to my sanity for surviving all the bugs. I felt it was worth the investment, but then I traded it in and got $37.99 back for it.



“I said baby, you know I’m gonna leave you”